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| 08:43pm 26/01/2008 |
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I thought that being single would relieve a lot of the stress I'm feeling...
Yeah not so much.
There's just more!
Go figure.
If he tells me that "everything is going to be okay" one more time... I'm going to through my computer out the window.
The people I want to talk to most, aren't really talking to me. I guess I'm just expecting them to know to call or text or whatever, haha.
But of course, the people I DON'T want talking to me, won't shut up!
More on this later.
Trust me, there's more.
Just not yet. |
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| 08:34am 08/11/2007 |
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yesterday was a really good day.
i could talk about all the crap going on, and i could complain but i want to talk about my good day.
jeremy came over, we watched Gossip Girl (LOVE that show) and we talked, went to Marie Calendars for dessert (of course we didn't even get any) and then went to Wal Mart where he bough Garth Brooks' greatest hits album and a pokemon toy. He wanted this stuffed animal pokemon but I wouldn't let him get it. We're trying to save for Disneyland! ITS COMING UP! AAAAAHHHHHHH so excited!
Okay, thats about it. A good night. Now time for classes :[ |
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| 10:33pm 30/10/2007 |
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AGAIN.
I tried to talk to Kevin. Last time I talked to him, I was PISSED because he was telling Kristin things I was saying. No, I was not purposefully talking about her behind his back. I was answering questions.
All I wanted to do today was talk about Heroes. Just, a regular conversation. But no, he ended up talking about Kristin. How he took her side, how I'm wrong, etc. I told him I can't see him being a friend and he gave ALL of these excuses about why he can't visit me.
I honestly believe that if you are my friend, you'll visit me. If our friendship is strong enough, you'd drive a few extra miles to see me.
With the exception of Beth and Ang :P
I'm done going to church with fake people.
Sorry to give up singing, but I'd rather sing with people who tell me how it is to my face; people who WANT to be my friend and fix things, rather then FAKE people. I HATE them. Gahhh.
I really hope this is my last one. |
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| 08:27am 28/10/2007 |
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i talked to kristin, i thought things were okay.
but on thursday, she forgot to tell her boyfriend that the four of us were hanging out together, so he made other plans. she didn't want to hang out after that, later that night.
i invited her to the halloween party at work, she said she doesn't like halloween plus she didn't have anything to wear. i told her she didn't need to and that she could have christian pay and it'd be cheaper (military discount) but she flat out said that she really didn't want to go. i didn't care, i asked her if she wanted to do something else and she never wrote back (through texting)
i don't know! |
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| 11:29pm 17/10/2007 |
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i don't really feel like going back and reading what i posted before, so forgive me if i repeat anything.
I tried talking to Kristin. It was before church and she said it was a bad time then because we would all be crying. I said I wouldn't be crying, she disagreed by saying "I have some things to say" implying whatever that was, it would make me cry.
so, that night she left me a comment on myspace saying how she didn't want to talk then because of crying and she didn't want me and danielle ganging up on her. then, it changed into she didn't want to talk at all.
unfortunately, I resorted to talking through myspace comments until things were all of a sudden my fault. i don't believe they are, naturally, but never did I say that I wasn't to blame. So, I told her that if she wanted to turn things around on me through myspace comments, then fine but I was done. She, on the other hand, wasn't.
Today I posted a bulletin. The first one in a couple of days. I compared myspace to homework and midterms. pretty much saying all 3 are lame. I went on to talk about how I'm going to the Jimmy Eat World concert on friday, and jeremy fell asleep on my arm. Thats all I said. Nothing cryptic, nothing weird, implying nothing.
She posts a bulletin a while later. Same title as mine (mine said "I LOVE Myspace". Her's said "I LOVE myspace too") She said she loves it because people are hypocrites. she said that "you" are being the bad friend. and that "you" stabbed her in the back over myspace. I figured all of this was directed towards me.
I was, actually, surprised because I had done nothing to provoke this, at the moment at least.
I would LOVE to delete my myspace but I like to keep in contact with people. I could delete her, but she'd just cause more crap. |
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| 08:57am 10/10/2007 |
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I don't get it.
why bother talking to me if you're just going to go say something about me to someone else. and thats just on myspace. what are you saying about me that i cant see?? |
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| 10:14pm 30/09/2007 |
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what the hell. seriously.
serious advice needed.
its kind of a long story, though...
so kristin and ben are dating. dani and christian are dating. christian and kristin have had past relationships (2) and then decide they want another one. oh, i should mention that kristin and dani are best friends. so kristin breaks up with ben for christian, and he breaks up with dani for her. thats the first "what the hell". wtf who does that??? to their BEST FRIEND. dani, for who knows what reason, forgives kristin. she wanted to be the better person and she sure as hell was. i'd say she was being WAY too nice but whatever.
since summer, kristin has been blowing me off. maybe she doesn't see it. whatever. but its just gotten worse. i've worked at color me mine for about 5 months, today was the first day she came in to visit. for like five seconds because i was driving us to get something to eat. i guess she came, right? i'm almost certain it will be the last time i see her in there. she's visited my dorm once, and she's supposed to be my best friend. what the hell.
kristin and dani fight all the time. kristin claims that dani has been acting weird to her. here's another "what the hell". no freaking kidding! she "stole" her best friend's boyfriend!!! no wonder she's acting weird!! oh, and she blames it on dani. i don't even know why. who knows.
don't worry its just getting better. kristin doesn't like jeremy (boyfriend) because he makes fun of her. come on, he jokes around with everyone! oh, and he made a rude comment to her. well duhh she was bossing people around telling them to do something when she could have very well done it herself. so he told her that she had no right to be telling people what to do. he was right. she won't come see me at work because "he's always there" yeah actually he's not. he hasn't been lately; i think he's trying to prove a point.
i can't go to church anymore because no matter WHAT happens, i get back and on the computer and there's some cryptic bulletin about SOMEONE doing SOMETHING at church. someone playing games or hating her or ANYTHING. yeah people read that crap but seriously, they never know who its about. i know a ton of people who stop going to church because they think its so hypocritical and i can DEFINATELY see what they mean.
i need to stop acting like everything's okay around her. jeremy and i are going to the homecoming game on friday... i told her i'd help her for the Kids 4 Wish Kids booth at the carnival. oh yeah. now the clubs all great because of HER. no it was never my idea. nothing. what the hell. anyway, it should be interesting, considering she doesn't like him... and he won't say anything rude to her unless she says something rude to him. and with the fact that ...she doesn't like him, i think that might just be asking for trouble. actually i said i'd say something.
i'm done being freaking walked over
jeremy keeps saying that i need to put her in her place or else she's just goign to see that its okay to act the way she is acting. but i don't know how to do that, i can't be a mean or rude person. he thinks that i don't have to be rude or mean. but i know her, she will tell everyone that i "hate" her and that its all my fault. she'll start spreading crap about me (probably at church, too). i've witnessed it first hand.
i seriously don't know what to do about this. |
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| 08:16am 27/09/2007 |
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does anyone read this? I read what people post....
haha
update time!
me and my best friend got into a fight. probably the first one... basically, she hadn't visited me at my dorm and has yet to visit me at work- i've worked there almost five months. and since the summer she's just been bailing on me. My boyfriend reminded me of a time then where I waited all day for her to call me but she never did. its kinda been like that. but I tried talking to her about it but she just got all defensive and I pretty much told her "who cares, just hang out with me" so we'll see how that goes.
I feel kinda bad because she can't get up to SDSU during the week except Mondays when her and her mom pick me up.... I'm in Santee on the weekends but I work almost all day saturdays and same with Sundays and then I have church.
Like, this Saturday I have work and then after I'm going to see that Dane Cook movie with my boyfriend. So if she wanted to hang out then... I don't know. I've already made plans :/
And speaking of him- the boyfriend. about 3 weeks ago I told him we needed to go on a break. I still saw him during our break and we spent a lot of time just sitting around talking. It was really good for us. I feel like I can talk to him about anything... even if I'm mad at him or something. So that break didn't last long haha.
Me and Niki and Billy and Jeremy are planning a mini-vacation to Disneyland in December. One night at the Disneyland Hotel!! Which reminds me, I have to re calculate prices and I have to get ready for school.
Thats pretty much it. |
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| AHHH |
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| 08:57pm 10/09/2007 |
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there's no point in saying what I want to. I've already said it a bunch of times, and it never turns out to be true.
maybe this time I really will hate him. I'm done with being walked on. he's the last person that should be doing it to me. |
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| 10:19pm 24/07/2007 |
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Today was probably one of the best days I've had in a while.
Me, Jeremy, Dani and Christian went to the Tide Pools.
Dani got soaked. So did Christian, but it was his fault.
CUTEST picture ever of them:
is that not perfect?
Haha.
Jeremy and I came back and sat in front of the broken TV. We imagined our own tv shows.
But really, I have NOT laughed that hard in a long time.
It feels really good to just sit and laugh and not worry about anything.
I like it a lot.
I probably have a picture, too...
I didn't really want to go in, but I didn't have much of a choice. He's laughing because I was yelling and screaming at him :) |
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| 01:12pm 19/07/2007 |
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signed up for classes:
-mon/wed/fri: oral communication, french grammar, and composition
-tues/thurs: intro to dance, exploring the bible
moving in the last weekend in august.
-first weekend: CLU
-second weekend: WICKED. Hell yes.
-third weekend: Alaska
-Fourth weekend: moving in.
I'm excited :) |
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| 10:52pm 18/06/2007 |
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woo hoo
worked 12 hours straight.
camp from 6:30 to 3
Color Me Mine from 3 to 7.
I'm drained. |
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| 02:20pm 21/05/2007 |
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People need to stop talking crap about me.
Those who know me, its rediculous, because 1) its been OVER a month and 2) come on, I wouldn't CHEAT on someone. they should know that.
Its even more stupid that people who don't even know me are saying stuff.
AHHH
I guess that's one thing that just isn't going to change. People say stuff, I need to deal with it. |
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| :] |
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| 10:35pm 14/05/2007 |
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Definately wayyyy happy :) |
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| Bon Chance |
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| 11:17pm 05/05/2007 |
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No matter what anyone says, it was not a date. He DID happen to pay for dinner, the movie, and dessert, but... no. Hah.
And ladies... a guy who actually opens CAR DOORS for the girl DOES exist. I know, crazy right?
I had a really, really nice night.
I got to hang out with someone who ACTUALLY wanted to spend time with me.
Wow, too much to handle. That and the car doors. haha. |
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| 05:22pm 26/04/2007 |
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New screen name:
selina loves yuu
I know. I rock :)
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| 09:47pm 23/04/2007 |
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Jeremiah 29:11
"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
It brings... relief to hear that. With certain things in life, I sometimes wonder if I'm doing the "right" thing or not. But with one specific thing... I know I am. It just makes sense to me.
It really helps me to trust. I feel like, if I can trust God, I can trust myself. And then I can trust other people. I find myself not having 100% trust in people that I should. I'll say things, just to get a reaction, or something out of them. More like, a compliment. I've caught myself a few times doing that, and I've gotten a lot better at stopping then I used to be. But I need to learn to just trust that this certain person WILL be there, and what they say WILL happen. Its tough.
Okay, around the same note... Swen and Dean. Google them. They are AMAZING. I got to sing onstage with them on Sunday. I'd post lyrics but, ehh.
Any thoughts on this, in general, are welcomed. |
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| 08:10pm 20/04/2007 |
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This week was crappy.
But I'm going to try to make it better.
Not let things get me down, or assume things.
I'm going to take each day one at a time because thats all I can do right now.
Yay positivity! |
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| 02:17pm 17/04/2007 |
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I'm sorry.
I know thats not good enough, and I know its not going to change anything.
But I really, truely am. And I hope you will forgive me. |
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tinkerbell_babi's journal
